8 major roadblocks to success in Doman therapy and how to avoid them

There aren’t any sure-fire ways to make a therapy work the way we want it to. Still, there are a few things we can avoid doing, in order to increase the probability of success. As a fellow parent who follows Doman for her son, I wish to caution you about the mistakes that you are most likely to commit when you follow this mode of therapy.

This post is for all parents who have started (or already follow) IAHP's therapy for their kids. Following IAHP and sticking to the therapy with consistency is really a great task. In this tough journey, every parent is presented with various degrees of obstacles. Some issues are really common and easily solvable. Let us look at a few examples.

  • Certain concepts are totally new for the parents and it takes some extra effort on their part to completely understand the concept and implement it. For instance, consider patterning, masking and dot cards method for teaching math. These do not conform to the usual methods of teaching/ therapy.
  • A few of the ideas are revolutionary and even disturbing for a few parents. For instance, masking, vertical hanging, acceleration, etc. I even heard a parent once say that acceleration can cause brain damage or even result in shaken baby syndrome. Of course, that is not true. Still, it is totally understandable that she doesn't agree with a few of the suggested activities.
  • Most of the family doctors do not agree with certain activities proposed by IAHP which adds to the stress of the parents. There was one parent who said she totally believed in masking but her doctor does not approve of it. She was worried that she will never be able to do masking for her child. 
  • Family members may not be supportive of the therapy and keep criticizing the parents for treating their child this way. The grandmother may not be okay with the dietary restrictions of the kid, the grandfather might lose temper whenever the kid cries during patterning and so many such examples can be cited for this issue. Most of the Indian parents following IAHP and living together as a big family can relate to this.

Moving on to the bigger issues, let's talk about the barriers that do not involve anyone but you. These roadblocks can be totally dealt with, by your own power,but only you can solve them.

Minor issues like the ones stated above can be easily dealt with because they are visible and we can deal with them on face. We know what we are dealing with and we know how to solve them. If your doctor does not feel okay with masking, you can find another doctor who is willing to help you. If the kid's grandmother is not okay with the diet you can either convince her or ask her to stay out of it. There are easy solutions for these issues, but what about the barriers that stay hidden and hinder your progress? Those are the roadblocks that I am going to talk about now.


8 major roadblocks to success in Doman therapy




1. Being unclear about the concept before starting the therapy:

Without a complete understanding of the basics of the Doman method, you will never see progress. Take your time to fully learn the fundamentals and then begin the therapy. Only when you know what you are doing, you will know what to expect as an outcome. If that’s not the case, you will end up frustrated.

Luckily, we never fell into this trap but I've seen lots of parents do this when they start the therapy. They are so desperate for results that they do not want to waste any more time by delaying the therapy. That’s when they commit this mistake of jumping into the therapy without a complete understanding of it.

For instance, let's consider masking. Your child breathes into a mask for approximately 60 seconds and in that period he breathes in his own carbon dioxide and oxygen. This carbon dioxide present in the mask and inhaled by the kid helps dilate the vessels that carry oxygen to the brain thus resulting in a rich supply of oxygen to the brain in a short span of time. Masking should be done in intervals of no less than 7 minutes. There are many other stipulations that needs to be followed regarding masking.

If you do not take the time to read through the procedure and understand the logic behind masking, you might be inclined to do 2 sessions of masking within a 7-minute interval just in order to complete some 'n' number of sessions in a day. That is of course not good for your child.

So, always take your time to understand the concept completely before implementing it.

2. Doing something you do not completely agree with:

When you do not feel comfortable with what you are doing, you are better off not doing it. Simply, do those activities that you are totally okay with and skip those which you do not agree with.

For instance, let's say you are afraid of hanging your baby upside down for vertical rocking. Even after understanding that it poses no risk, you still have some fear in performing the activity.

Whenever you hang your baby upside down with that fear instilled in your mind, your baby will start crying or feel uncomfortable. It is because the kid senses your fear and thinks he/she is in danger. The whole activity does not yield any results because the goal of the activity is to be fun and effective both of which are not met in this case.

So, it is always better to do something with complete agreement or not do it at all.

     3. Implementing changes suddenly and simultaneously:

When you make radical changes to your home, be it in nutrition or organization or anything else, the household suffers. This leads you to revert back all changes, which means zero improvement. Make changes 1- step at a time. That gives enough time for your kid as well as the other family members to adjust with the changes.

For instance, you have decided to make all nutritional changes at the same time. You remove sugar, salt and even change your cooking oil, all at once. Imagine the taste of the food now! It is going to be bland.

We are all accustomed to dishes made with regular ingredients and all replacements are new to us. Whenever something is removed or replaced, it shows clearly in the taste and even appearance at times, which means we straightaway dislike the food. This will lead to disappointment rather than a welcome change.

Instead, if you start with removing sugar and then follow it with removal of salt and then replace the cooking oil, all with enough intervals for your family to adjust without their notice, you might find that, at one point, no one realizes that you have made these changes. Yes, it might take even a period of 2 to 3 months. Still, it is a thousand times better to slowly make a change and succeed rather than to quickly make a change and fail.

Change things 1-step at a time. A small change is always better than no change. A small change that will lead to success is always better than a big change that will anyway revert back.

    4. Devising a plan that is unrealistic:

A definite way to ruin your motivation is to create a plan that is way too hard to execute on a daily basis. Analyse your kid’s routine and create an achievable daily plan.

Once, I formulated a jam-packed routine for my son. It looked so good on the paper that I assumed it would be a great hit. Guess what happened?

I was not able to complete even half of what I had planned and I felt so incompetent at the end of the day. After a few days of following that plan, I realized that the problem was not because I was incompetent or that my kid wasn't co-operative; it was the plan that was unrealistic.

In this process of learning, I have lost a few days of time, precious time, that could have been used well only if I had devised an achievable plan. What I have learnt from my mistake is that, it is better to create an achievable plan and consistently complete it rather than creating an extremely hard plan and failing at it.

    5.  Rushing in to complete daily goals:

This is an extension of the previous statement. Sometimes we set a plan that is not achievable at the recommended pace. So, we rush in through the activities without giving enough intervals.

This means we have done something just in order meet our goals instead of making it joyous and effective for the kid. This is the real failure.

Instead, have a plan and try to complete it by implementing the therapy only at times when the kid is alert, active and happy. This makes sure that the stimulation (however little it might be!) you have given to your kid has been effectively given. Quality over quantity!

    6.  Comparing your kid’s progress: 

     This is the best thing to do if you want to give up on the therapy and end up feeling jealous and drained. Even when two kids have the same diagnosis, their progress need not be the same. Just because the other kid has started crawling, your kid doesn’t need to.

On the other hand, there are people who feel their kid is doing better than the other one. That’s a harmful thought too. It gives you a false sense of achievement and halts progress.

‘No comparison’ is the best way to see quick progress.

    7.  Comparing yourself with other parents: 

      Most of us have done that and still do it from time to time. Comparison in a good sense is motivating but there is only a fine line between healthy and unhealthy comparison.

Whenever I read some success story I feel happy for the kid and his/her parents. I feel a sense of motivation and encouragement. Thoughts up to this level are healthy.

But what happens if I move one step further and think the kid’s parents have given 10 hours of therapy for their kid every single day and that I must do the same or else my kid will not overcome his injuries. That’s where the problem begins. I will become frustrated that I am not competent enough and will start getting stressed out. That will reflect itself in the therapy and will that do any good to my son? No.

Just because someone else did it, it doesn’t mean you have to do the exact same thing. Every family has its own challenges and you never know what sacrifices they had made to achieve their goals. You never know what good influence they’ve had in their life to achieve what they had wanted. So, whenever you come across a success story, feel motivated but never feel compelled to copy what they did.

On the other extreme, looking down on other parents because they are not able to give a program as effectively as you (or so you think) is also detrimental. Do not ever do that. Not even once. You never know under what situation the family is following the therapy. At least, they are doing something for their kid.

Look up to other people for inspiration. Never compare yourself with them. That’s easier said than done. Still, it is an important skill to master.


    8.  Saving money by skimping on the essentials: 
     
There are times when the upfront expense is too high, so we decide to skimp. But note that they are the essentials. If you skimp on them and settle for 2nd- quality products, will you get a 1st-rated result?

Early on in our therapy journey we decided not to invest money in buying flashcards and instead we showed flashcards in using our computer. My son looked at the screen intently and so we thought it was working.

Only after 8 whole months we realized what a bad idea it was because he wasn’t able to recognize most of the things which we had showed him. We immediately purchased sheets of paper, cut them to size and started the reading program in the conventional way.

Within 2-3 months, we saw visible results and now my son can recognize words from 3 languages and he can do basic math. Isn’t that a good payoff for the money that we invested in buying cards?

Even though the expense is high, the payoff is high too. So never skimp on the essentials.


I am no expert on Doman and I don’t claim to be. This post is purely based on my experience following IAHP’s program for my son. 

Thank you for reading! Do you have anything that can be added to this list? Please leave it in the comments section below.

Have you been through one of these situations? I would love to hear how you managed to overcome the barrier.

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